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Alternative Lifestyle in Pittsburgh. My hasn’t found a job yet and he graduated over a year ago. It was causing a lot of frustration around the house because I thought he wasn’t trying as he could. I was getting upset supporting him. He moved out of my house to live in his father’s basement for a while. All I wanted was for him to change a few little things so he could get a good job and support himself and live a good life. It sounds a lot like your situation. Then a therapist helped me to that the problem was mine. J is finding himself. His definition of a “good life” is different than mine. I have no say over his relationship with his father, even if I think J is using him. I had to disconnect. I set my limits…how much I would support him, how much I would give. The rest is up to him. Perhaps he’ll not get a job without changing some things. It hurt me to him hurt but then he’ll have to decide if it’s more important “to be himself” or to change to get the job. His life, his. I think it might help your situation to disconnect a bit too. Good luck to you and her both.
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